That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
