I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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