there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
as a side note pls kill me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
