another moral hangover. fuck.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
