he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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