Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
