Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
