Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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