her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
