It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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