can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
