he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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