Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
