i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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