Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Houston, we have a squirter
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
