That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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