Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
