R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
