i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
