are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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