cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
