I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
