Whod you bang
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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