any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
