You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Two words: nipple clamps
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