worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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