If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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