Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
