Are we in a gay sports bar?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
