tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So vagazzling was a success
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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