3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So squirting runs in the family.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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