ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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