I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
