..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
