i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We need a shit load of segways right now
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
