Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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