I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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