Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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