So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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