you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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