you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
