Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
