i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
