I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
