Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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