I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
