I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
