You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
why is half of my head shaved?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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