Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
