He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
